Comments on: Reader Case Study: How Can I Overcome My Shopping Addiction?

By: Carla

Carla — Thu, 25 May 2023 23:16:35 +0000

In reply to Carla. Another thought, I am not familiar with the health care system in Canada, but your lack of insurance makes me anxious. IMO, it would be worth the added expense every month and the delay in debt repayment to get insurance. If you had a serious illness or accident, you could be in far worse debt without it.

By: Carla

Carla — Thu, 25 May 2023 23:14:19 +0000

Your spending has become a habit. You might find the work of Gretchen Rubin helpful in figuring out how to break that habit. Specifically, check out her book Better Than Before (get it at the library). She has a lot of strategies for habit change. One thought… Perhaps identify a different habit you want to form and every time you start to shop (or if there is a particular time of day when you are likely to), go do that thing instead.

It wasn’t clear to me when you said you were keeping your debt a secret if that meant from your husband. If so, I would encourage you to share with him (and possibly with 1 or 2 other close friends/family members). You might be surprised – instead of judging you, they can be a good support system for you.

By: Carla

Carla — Thu, 25 May 2023 23:04:44 +0000

In reply to BettafrmdaVille. I was going to suggest the same thing!

By: Lori

Lori — Tue, 16 May 2023 21:09:19 +0000

In reply to Aileen Murphie.

Good ideas, Aileen, especially the one about the No Spend Days. I’m having a lot of success with those.

A couple of years ago I realized I was charging something to my credit card nearly every day. When I categorized & analyzed my charges, I found I went from ~200 charges per year in 2014 to 400, 500, then 600+ by 2020. Swiping is so easy — $2 parking, $15 Netflix, $300 lamp…

So I started counting No Spend days. Last year my goal was 60 spend-free days. That was hard at first, especially with moving to a new house, but I ended up with 88 days for the year. This year my goal is 100, but now I’m asking myself — Why do I spend money the other 265 days of the year??? Why not 200 spend-free days? My latest strategy is “market days”. The Amish in Missouri only go to the market on Saturdays. I decided to try shopping only on Friday or Saturday, and again on Monday or Tuesday, with other days as needed (e.g. dinner with friends). I allow myself one or two small expenses with cash on spend-free days, e.g. a burger lunch, postage, or a recipe ingredient from the grocery store.

Surprisingly, conserving my attention is one of the biggest benefits of delaying spending until market days. Instead of trying to satisfy every little need when it comes up, I can be “lazy”, put the need on a list, then return my attention to whatever I was doing when the need popped into my head. Often, by the time a market day arrives, the “need” has disappeared, or it has been satisfied by something I had on hand.

By: Aileen Murphie

Aileen Murphie — Sat, 13 May 2023 15:54:26 +0000

Dear Neko, Very small suggestions but they might help: go to a dental school for hygiene and treatment. Those 4th year students need people to practice on! For haircuts, again seek out a college. Take your lunch into work every day. If you feel like to have to shop – go to the library and take out a new book or go to a thrift shop with very little money. Have at least 2 No Spend Days when you leave your purse/wallet at home. Best of luck!

By: Lila

Lila — Thu, 04 May 2023 11:45:48 +0000

I just wanted to say that I can really empathize with the struggle of overcoming a shopping addiction. It’s not easy, but the suggestions in this post are truly helpful and practical. The idea of finding a therapist and attending Debtors Anonymous meetings can provide much-needed support. I also appreciate the tips on managing credit card debt and finding ways to save more. Thank you for sharing these valuable insights, and I’m sure many of us will find them helpful as we work towards a better financial future!

By: Johanna

Johanna — Wed, 03 May 2023 18:43:26 +0000

No sage advice but just letting you know that you are brave and you can do this!

By: Sarah M

Sarah M — Mon, 01 May 2023 16:22:19 +0000

In reply to Neko. That sounds super stressful having your wallet stolen, but I wonder if, even assuming a stolen wallet every few years, may be a better financial situation than using cc's

By: Sarah M

Sarah M — Mon, 01 May 2023 15:41:21 +0000

In reply to Neko. When you say you were a "selfish and ungrateful kid who always had to have "IT" is that your voice or is it how a parent or someone else spoke to you? What I mean is it can be a genuinely hard experience being on the poorer end of a richer place, there can be a lot of whispered or unspoken judgements, social exclusions, etc. If any of that was at play it's ok to own those feelings, even if it was not on the same order of magnitude as going hungry. Speaking as a former hand-me-down wearing private school kid whose parents made a lot of sacrifices, but I do get a little twitchy to shop when my self esteem if feeling a bit shaky. I will also say I genuinely take pride in mending and repairing clothing, so sometimes fixing something to be nice again scratches the itch, as does going through my current items and picking out something a bit neglected to wear more

By: Marie

Marie — Sat, 29 Apr 2023 23:56:06 +0000

Hi Neko
What mostly worries me is your housing situation. My current understanding is that you don’t yet own a portion of the house your helping to pay down. You need to have housing security in the next 10-15 years prior to retirement. I would focus on a career that you can continue working on into your 60s. Have you considered teaching ? There is a worldwide shortage and room for promotional roles and annual increases in your wage . I’m guessing your current job doesn’t have much growth opportunity? So raise your income and reduce your spending to pay down debts. I don’t think $9,000 is too bad and achievable to pay off in a year if you can be strict. You could have a savings account set up with $25 per week (or whatever is affordable) where you can buy whatever you want without feeling bad. It’s just a matter of knowing what you can afford and sticking to it. Having clear goals and taking control of your finances is super important and will help you stick to your budget. Having a simplified pantry and batch cooking will help save money. Avoiding eating out and convenience foods. I think your hobbies sound great and investing in your self is very important. Good luck !