I follow Danielle Collins on YouTube and face yoga is awesome! I would call it more relaxing, wrinkle-fighting facial massage than yoga, but it works so call it whatever you must. It’s free to watch the videos, feels wonderful, and has totally worked for me.

I’m 46 and I don’t wear any makeup ever, though I do tint my eyelashes every few months because my lashes are mostly blonde. My hair isn’t graying and I’ve never dyed it. The one thing that I truly worry about is the crepe-paper texture of my aunts’ skin, which I have totally inherited. So I’m devoted to moisturizer and face yoga.

I have two questions.
– I’ve seen retinol wrinkle-prevention cream at Costco and I’ve always wondered if it really works the way it says. I cannot trust to research on Google thanks to (paid) influencers all over. So, I’ll ask here: Do they really work and worth the expense? How long do I need to use it to notice a change? Finally, are they safe as far as a beauty product goes? My teenagers also say that wrinkes around eyes are fine because it means I smile, but maybe I frown more (well, I probably used to in the corporate setting before FIRE , LOL).

– My teenage DD also has acne issues (I barely had because I cannot really recall it). What products can truly help with it or do you just need to resign and wait it disappears by itself like Mrs. F waiting until mid-30’s?

Thank you!

A plastic surgeon of my acquaintance, also a mother of 4 and most definitely in her late-late 40’s, looks nothing even a tiny bit approaching her actual age on account of these little tweaks. I’d say she hasn’t had actual surgery on her face, she looks natural and normal and like a mature, normal woman (an attractive one) of somewhat indeterminate age, which is exactly what I want! I want to be ”sort of maybe around 40? Maybe?) rather than that tragic, puffy-lipped, frozen-faced, implausible-hair-and-lashes look that seems to be so pervasive. I just want to look like the most fresh-faced version of an adult middle-aged woman in good health!

LOL.

The same woman wears very little makeup, no gel nails or anything like that, hair is casual, just looks like an attractive person and quite natural. THAT’S the holy grail!

Yeah. Not shaving my legs / underarms is a hard pass from me, and I have quite fair, fine hair generally, am not at all hirsute. But… no.

Just no.

Saying that, in summer, I maybe ”need” to shave once a week, so it’s not an onerous or endless cycle for me. I can imagine if a person felt they needed to shave 3-4 times each week or similar, it would be a burden and actually feel like a waste of time.

Me neither. I work remotely and generally wear a solid ”nothing”, but have noticed that in strict truth, I absolutely do look much more ”awake” and nice with even just a little on. I have decent skin, but am very, very pale and sort of worn-out looking, so getting a very small bit of brow definition and a bit of coloured lip balm on my face makes a disproportionately big difference!

Also! We generally look – objectively – much better than we think we do, to that outside world. We imagine we’re so huge that the ground shakes when we walk, but every now and then a reality check reminds us that we’re *maybe* just a few lbs more than would be strictly ideal (just an example). We’re our own harshest critics and have a very distorted, hyper-critical view ingrained. I think of people I know who could objectively be called a dress size or two above where they could be and I do NOT think they’re ”very” overweight, nor do I think they’re unattractive. They look great, same as they always have!

My VERY not-appearance-obsessed husband is strongly considering a bit of targeted botox to rid himself of the deep, lightning jag crevasse frown line that has been on his forehead, between his eyes for years and years. He’s tall, dark (and handsome!) with dark, thick brows, so the perpetual rage-frown line makes him look… annoyed. I think if he did it, he’d be thrilled!